The New Year is a time when many resolve to make ‘improvements’ in their lives – to stop smoking, to start exercising, to eat more healthily, to start a new career, to leave a job that they are not happy in, etc. Very often, however, what we see a month later is that these people are still smoking, not exercising, still eating junk food or still in the same unrewarding job. Another year of failed resolutions.
What goes wrong? Often the thing with resolutions is that they focus on what we ‘see’ to be the problem, rather than what the real problem is. We think that by stopping smoking everything will be better, we will be healthier, have more money, be able to taste our food, etc, etc. When we stop smoking, these things would follow, so why can’t we stop? If we exercise, we will feel healthier, have more energy, and feel positive from the endorphins exercise releases. So why can’t we get into a routine with it? ‘Failure’ is not always down to the fact that we do not enjoy the exercise.
Why do some people find it hard to change jobs, or their career? When we have been in a job for some time, even if we are unhappy, we have got used to the routine, we know what we are doing, we know the people we are working with, etc. Getting a new job, like moving house, involves a huge amount of change. Change involves moving into the unknown, which most people find uncomfortable. Rather than admit to ourselves that this is the reason for us staying in an unrewarding job, we find excuses that we are more comfortable with and which bolster our confidence.
Why is it that some people can give up smoking and others can’t? Our brain is very clever at telling us what makes us feel good; this is not necessarily what is good for us, though. Our brain will remember what has stopped us feeling negative in the past, and made us feel happy; this is why people drink or take drugs, they temporarily relieve the pain. The fact that it is only temporary is why people get addicted; they need to take more and more to keep feeling okay. It then gets to the point that the more you have the worse you feel on the whole, that you decide you want to stop. Stopping is hard, because the thing you want to stop is also the thing your brain is telling you that you need to feel okay. But we have forgotten why it is we wanted to block out uncomfortable negative feelings, or what they actually were in the first place.
The resolutions are all different, but the problem underlying them all is the fear of not being able to cope. It could be a subconscious fear of being thin which prevents us from exercising; can we cope with the attention we might get if we change the way we look? In a new job, we have to learn new ways of working, meet new people, etc; what if we can’t manage it, what if we fail? Fear of not being able to cope is one of the biggest things that will prevent people from moving forwards in their lives.
Homeopathy can help you get below the surface of the ‘fear’ and understand what is happening beneath the discomfort. This does not need to be a big realization that I smoke because of a major trauma in the past; it might just be a realization that we started smoking with our friends when we used to go out and have a laugh, and since then we have associated it with that positive time. We have got ourselves stuck in a past experience, but haven’t been able to leave it behind when our present has become negative. Our subconscious fear may be that we won’t be able to enjoy ourselves or cope with stress without a cigarette.
Homeopathic treatment can appear very subtle when working on an emotional level in helping us address our fears. A homeopath will prescribe a remedy that will help bring our system back into balance. To do this our ‘baggage’ will naturally get pushed to the surface to be cleared out and left behind, no longer weighing us down. This sounds very simplistic, but the aim of homeopathic treatment is for the individual to get to a place of comfort on a physical and emotional level.
The remedy can enable the individual to understand what is at the root of their indecision in making change in their lives, and give them the strength to move safely through the fear.